MetrOasis® Advanced Training Center & Beauty School is the premier boutique beauty school of Alaska, located in mid-town Anchorage. 907.276.4110

SCHIZOBALM! – Hot/Cold Arthritis Balm!

Is it hot? Is it cold? It don’t know! But your joints will figure it out. That’s why we call it SCHIZOBALM!
This isn’t your average balm. SCHIZOBALM! from the O.L.D. Apothecary Line is a wild ride of fire and ice — designed to soothe sore muscles and stiff joints with a one-two punch of cooling menthol and warming botanicals.
Why It Works
• Beeswax & Shea Butter – create a rich, protective base that seals in moisture and keeps the actives where you need them.
• Fractionated Coconut Oil – silky and fast-absorbing, carrying essential oils deep into the skin.
• Menthol Crystals – deliver that instant, cooling “ahhh” sensation.
• Peppermint & Eucalyptus Oils – amplify the chill while adding a clean, refreshing aroma.
• Ginger & Black Pepper Oils – provide a warming counterbalance, easing stiffness without the burn of harsher extracts.
• Benzoin & Vanilla – smooth the medicinal edge, leaving behind a soft, comforting finish.
Product Philosophy
In true O.L.D. spirit, SCHIZOBALM! was built to be bold, effective, and a little bit cheeky. It’s the balm with an identity crisis — hot, cold, sweet, sharp — all at once. Because sometimes relief comes from contradiction.
Product Details
• Packaged in 2 oz tins (portable, durable, ready to toss in a bag or drawer).
• Hand-crafted in small batches at MetrOasis, Anchorage.
• Part of the O.L.D. Apothecary Line — remedies with character.
Directions: Rub a small amount onto sore joints or muscles. For external use only. Avoid eyes and mucous membranes.